Finding the Breaking Point
Alison has written a great post on the Silda Spitzer and the current discussion of standing by your man:
Those of us who have been in challenging relationships like this know it’s really hard to say, “I wouldn’t have stood for that.” Because, in fact, I’ve stayed for a lot of stuff, and I have no idea what my breaking point would be. Intimate relationships are mysterious, and while I see all the political messages that Silda’s “standing by” conveys, I also am troubled by how judgmental people want to be of her. It feels like victim blaming.
. . . I just find it to be unhelpful to blame women who make hard choices in very difficult life situations. I also find it to be a bit dishonest, because all of us who are in long-term intimate relationships know, in our heart of hearts, that things are much messier and more complicated in those relationships than our self-congratulatory glib judgments of others would suggest.
Heather @ March 13, 2008
Thanks, Heather!